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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497245">Anxiety</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainewritesfanfics/pseuds/Rainewritesfanfics'>Rainewritesfanfics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Uta no Prince-sama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Anxiety, F/M, Fatherhood, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Present Tense</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:01:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainewritesfanfics/pseuds/Rainewritesfanfics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Only months away from fatherhood, Eiichi struggles with nightmares about his own father. Haruka soothes him as best she can.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nanami Haruka/Ootori Eiichi, Ootori Eiichi &amp; Raging Ootori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’ve fallen for Eiichi and can’t get up. He’s just such an intriguing character. I can’t stop pondering stories for him. I’m also so weak for domestic situations, especially parenthood.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s well past 2am when Eiichi startles awake from his nightmare. </p><p>The room is dark and fuzzy without his glasses. It takes him a moment to realize that the space is truly empty save for him and the woman beside him. </p><p>That man isn’t actually here.</p><p>He takes deep breaths as he comes to his senses, and he’s thankful to the melatonin supplements that Haruka has slept through his panic. She needs as much sleep as their schedules can possibly allow her these days.</p><p>Eiichi keeps his arm where it is draped over her waist and slowly flexes the fingers of his right hand, which is trapped under the pillow and her head. </p><p>Deep breaths. In through the nose. Hold. Out through the mouth. Repeat.</p><p>A displeased noise escapes from the back of his throat. </p><p>He hates that even now, in his mid-thirties, his father still gives him nightmares. Eiichi can feel the sting of his father’s palm. He can hear the sharpness of his words, slicing through the layers Eiichi tries to barricade himself behind.</p><p>Dropping his head back to the pillow, Eiichi brushes his nose against Haruka’s head, letting her constant vanilla scent sand down his jagged edges.</p><p>His palm cups her stomach, stroking the stretched skin through the HEAVENS shirt she’s donned as pajamas.</p><p>He can’t help sighing.</p><p>The nightmares have only increased now that he and Haruka are expecting their first child. </p><p>Haruka always wanted kids. He knew that well before they’d married.</p><p>Eiichi himself loves children. He always has. From the moment Eiji was born until their parents divorced and separated them, Eiichi was involved in raising him. He still feels like Eiji is as much his as their father’s.</p><p>Whether it was singing Eiji to sleep, entertaining him with finger puppets, or even changing his diapers, Eiichi doted on his baby brother.</p><p>Even when Eiji was no longer an infant, Eiichi had played with him, read stories to him, and tended to him when he was sick. </p><p>Nagi had come years later. A new child to protect from the dark side of this industry. To protect from Raging’s wrath. </p><p>Eiichi hopes he can protect his child the same way.</p><p>Unconsciously, he pulls Haruka closer. She whines a little in her sleep, and his lips pull up just a fraction.</p><p>Beneath his hand, their baby stirs. </p><p>Eiichi likes to think the baby is in tune with his emotions, but realistically he thinks it’s because Haruka moved.</p><p>With only a few months separating him from fatherhood, the subtle feeling of anxiety is beginning to compound. </p><p>Raging is already eager for another heir to the company, as if Eiichi and Eiji aren’t enough.</p><p>Glaring at the neon city outside their window, Eiichi feels his possessiveness growing.</p><p>Haruka is a rare talent, and he knows his father expects the same from their child. That pressure is terrifying.</p><p>Eiichi wishes his father could just be excited to have a grandchild without making it about business. Still, he’s not foolish enough to think wishing will actually get anywhere with Raging.</p><p>Of all her suitors, Haruka chose Eiichi in the end. He is determined to prove to her, for the rest of their lives, that she made the right choice.</p><p>That means protecting her and the family they are building, even from his father.</p><p>Eyes drifting closed, Eiichi sighs heavily and strokes Haruka’s belly. </p><p>He’s already read a dozen books on parenting, taken a child psychology course online, and attended the new-parent circle classes with Haruka. He’s determined not to repeat any of his father’s mistakes, but the fear lingers like a cloud of perfume, suffocating him.</p><p>From the time he was young, Eiichi has been told how much like his father he is. At one point, it may have felt like a compliment. They do share a penchant for extravagance and an uncompromising work ethic. Eiichi prays that’s where the similarities end.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?”</p><p>He jumps at Haruka’s sleep-slurred voice, not realizing she’d woken.</p><p>“It’s nothing,” he says, kissing her head. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”</p><p>She rolls onto her back to face him, and then winces when the baby kicks beneath Eiichi’s hand. “Don’t lie,” she mumbles, eyes only partially open. “Your hand is shaking.”</p><p>Ah, so he’s been found out. Eiichi sighs again.</p><p>Haruka reaches up and rubs his stubbled jaw. “Eiichi... what’s wrong?”</p><p>He give a wry chuckle and leans into her palm. “Is it too late to flee the country and raise our kids far away from my father?”</p><p>She gives a low hum, as if considering his lurid idea. “Well, we can still fly until I’m 36 weeks. Where did you want to go?” </p><p>He can tell she’s humoring him, but he’s grateful. “How’s your Spanish?”</p><p>“I know about a dozen words.” She shifts onto her side so they’re face to face.</p><p>He leans forward and kisses her nose. “What about your English?”</p><p>“Rusty, but I think I could manage.”</p><p>“Excellent.” He cradles her chin and traces her lips. “I always did like London. We can say we’re visiting Eiji’s university and then not come back.”</p><p>Haruka giggles. “But you don’t like British food.”</p><p>“So much on every plate and yet so little flavor,” he says, shaking his head as she traces his jaw. </p><p>“What about America?” Haruka asks. “Tomo-chan did some work in Hollywood.”</p><p>Eiichi scoffs. “Visiting is fine, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”</p><p>“Australia?”</p><p>He plays with a strand of her hair. “Mm. I don’t think you’d like it there.”</p><p>“Ah, I’ve got it,” she says, patting his chest. “New Zealand.”</p><p>Eiichi laughs and pulls her closer. “Now there’s a winning idea.”</p><p>“Mm, yeah?” She tips her head up and murmurs the words against his lips.</p><p>Eiichi leans down to kiss her properly. “Yeah.” He steals another kiss and the pulls back. “Now go back to sleep, sweetheart. You’ve got work in the morning.”</p><p>“STARISH won’t mind if I’m late,” she informs him around a yawn. It’s a losing battle, they both know, as she leans her head on his chest and burrows into his tee.</p><p>“I know,” he murmurs, rubbing her shoulder. </p><p>Their lives are here. Their friends and families are here, but he loves her all the more for playing along. </p><p>Eiichi knows he cannot run from who he is. Otori Eiichi, the first-born son of Raging Otori. </p><p>Silently, he reaffirms his vows to his own child. To love them. To guide them. To protect them. To listen to them. </p><p>Sometimes, it feels like a daunting task.</p><p>That’s when Eiichi remembers that he is not alone. Haruka grounds him. His friends reassure him when he feels adrift. Her friends keep him in check when his old habits emerge.</p><p>He will never be his father. </p><p>The thought is comforting. </p><p>He lets it carry him back to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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